Turning 51 and Still Chasing 4-year olds

I used to have a regular job. You know the kind, the one that when you wake up, you moan audibly, having a tantrum distressed at even the thought. I think, "Maybe I should take a sanity day, today. But, no, I've taken too many of those of late."  The job did give me the varicose veins, the daily knee and leg pain, and the carpal tunnel syndrome, and enough stress that I would dream about all the things that needed to be done or could go wrong at the bank. I couldn't even get away from it when I was sleeping. My health was beginning to be affected. 

When my son turned twelve, I re-evaluated what I wanted out of life.  I realized that I had to make a change.  My husband made an offer I couldn't refuse. Here was an opportunity to make a difference in the lives of children  

Well, my carpal tunnel is gone, my knee pain and leg pain is gone, but those gorgeous varicose veins will be mine forever.

When teaching 4-year-olds, you have to get low to be at their eye level. I've been kneeling and squatting for over five years now and my knees have gotten very strong. My wrists no longer ache because I have to steady them when a new technique is introduced or I pick them up and toss ‘em around or hold them when they climb ropes.

I still huff and puff sometimes trying to match their never-ending energy but thanks to these little darlings; stress has turned into smiles and giggles.

The Seed of Positive Thinking

When someone asks you to try something you have never done before, it's natural to feel hesitation. For a four or five year old its downright intimating.  Some kids won't try at all because they're afraid of making a mistake or looking foolish.  How does one become a perfectionist at the age of five, anyways?

Michael continued to say class after class, "I can't do it.  I don't know how. I can't do that very good."

"Of course you don't know how.  There is always the first time for everyone.  So what if we can't do it the first time, we are just learning how to do it.  We're teaching our body and brains how to do it.  So... Go, Mike."

Michael does it perfectly, or his efforts show great promise. Praise and high fives all around.

"Well, Mike.  I guess I can't believe you anymore."

Michael's eyes get big. "Why?"

"Because every time you tell me you can't do it, you go and do it perfectly the first or second time. So I guess I can't believe you when you tell me you can't.  As a matter of fact, the ONLY person that ever says that you can't do something is, let me see.....

Not me. I always know you can do it.  Not Destiny (his six year old sister and classmate today) because she's always encouraging and offers suggestions on how to do it better, so she obviously believes you can do it too.  Everyone else believes you can do it. Yes, the only person that says you can't do it is Michael.  Your body can do it, because your body is doing it correctly all the time, but your brain is telling it it can't. I wonder why that is? Why does Mike's brain keep telling Mike he can't do stuff?"

Michael makes a surprising discovery.  He points his finger in the air and earnestly says, "My brain is trying to fool me!"

Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall

If you want to get anything done when teaching children, never, ever teach them in front of a wall of full length mirrors. It neutralizes all thinking processes and the brain shifts into a dormant stage where neurons screech to a halt and take a siesta.

The admiration for their own image is apparent by the twinkle in their eyes.  Soon the movement begins. With the boys it starts with lips and tongues.  Soon they're contorting their faces pausing between each face vogue style. The feet start to move and as they watch  in fascination, they jump high into the air, dance, shuffle, perform kung fu moves, and eventually roll about the floor.

Another issue with mirrors - The children can see each other.  They line up in a straight line side by side.  Without the mirrors, they face the teacher and can't see down the line.  But with the mirrors, they can see everyone in line.   Unfortunately for me, they fall like dominoes.  Count to three and there are three to four boys dancing, performing kung fu moves and rolling about the floor.

The girls tilt their head to and fro, usually a quiet stare of admiration or evaluation.   I'm not sure which.  Soon the movement begins.  First the arms swing back and forth ever so slightly and soon the body does too.  The feet move to side to side and a dance breaks out, or some girls start posing, first one angle, then the other.

I bring their attention back over and over.  As we do our drills in front of the mirror, these children are seriously checking themselves out.  They're not paying any attention to technique or the corrections I'm trying to make. Each  mesmerized, hearing nothing, and watching with fascination the child in the mirror.

I had to break up this little love affair.   Since breaking the mirrors is not an option, we moved our Lil' Dragon's class to the next room, you know, the one without the mirrors.

Bowling for Kids

A game, I've learned is a great way to convey lessons.  It may not look so from the outside looking in, but playing a good, raucous, and challenging game will teach more than words ever could.

Of all the games I play, the Lil' Dragons love a game called "Bowling for Kids." Yes it is exactly like it sounds. I am the bowler and they are my pins.  Lucky me.

For some reason beyond me, this is their favorite game.  They will ask to play it as soon as they come through the door.  Whenever I request a suggestion for a game, the Lil' Dragons shout out in chorus, "Bowling for Kids!" It such a simple premise for a game and requires no special skills.  Maybe that's why they love it.

If mowing down little children with a ball sounds like a wish come true, well... I can't help it if they love it too.

What they learn: Controlling the panic response, keeping their eye on the ball, moving in a crowd without knocking anyone over, bravery, overcoming obstacles.

What they love: Running around screaming, dodging, jumping the ball, falling dramatically, cheering, and winning.

Winner - Nickelodeon Parents' Picks Award

For Martial Arts Class
in Detroit

Thank you!

This is an announcement that we are very proud to make. Our school, Ambrose Academy is the winner of the Nickelodeon's Parents' Picks Award for 2009 in the martial arts category. We want to thank all of you that voted for us. Some of you were faithfully voting every day. You know who you are! Special thanks. You made it happen and we appreciate all the support you have given us.

If you would like to see that little blue ribbon next to our name, head over to Nickelodeon's Parents Connection, an online resource for parenting advice and community, which handled the voting.

Parents' Picks businesses were nominated based on recommendations from Nickelodeon's local city editors that live and work in the cities they cover, in conjunction with the sites' user feedback. Only five martial arts schools were nominated for the Detroit Metropolitan area for 2009.

You may ask what do we win? A nice certificate and bragging rights for the year. Considering this was the first year of the awards, our selection to be on the list came from Nickelodeon itself making this award more significant and a great honor.

After this year, other prospective nominees can request to be included for next year's vote, so I'm sure that the field will be much larger.

Our thanks and gratitude to the best students around.

I'm exhausted - Fun & Games at Summer Day Camp

Okay I’m exhausted!

Every year I hold a Fitness Summer Day Camp for just one week at our Livonia school - usually open to our students only. Every once in a while a friend or family member joins the camp, so it isn’t really closed to the public. So if you’re interested my recommendation is to check the camp out. Since the camp is geared for fitness, sports, nutrition, and martial arts our day is full with physical activities and lessons about life long exercise and nutrition. Beyond the martial art classes, the nutrition sessions at lunch, there are plenty of organized and free playtimes.

By the end of the week we are all exhausted so our usual Friday afternoon swim is a blessed relief. I’m talking about me. The kids are still moving around and exercising. I get to sit pool side with my fan and keep a constant head count while the kids and volunteers play in the water for a couple of hours.

The children always look forward to the camp. I know that our camps are successful because I’ve heard the children beg their parents to be there. Children that sign up for only three days end up coming the full five, only because they are having a blast. They get to socialize with their fellow classmates, something they don’t get to do normally because they are always training in class. So these get-togethers help strengthen friendships and forge new ones. This camp a new six-year-old non-member joined in the fun. As soon as all the six year olds met, they started comparing notes on how many teeth were lost so far, what Transformer they wanted to be, and what video games were their favorites. Ah, instant connection.

Again I get to watch the dynamic of the group develop since the ages of the campers range from five to fourteen. I cap the number of attendees to twenty. They may start out by staying in their age group or gender group, but by the end of the week, new friends, new role models to follow, and new playmates are found over and over. It becomes one big friend group. It’s pretty cool to watch.

The weather was incredible all week. When the weather cooperates it gives me a great deal of flexibility in planning the outdoor activities. We all have a blast no matter what the weather because I have a few tricks up my sleeve just in case. Parents tell me that their children sleep like rocks during the week and so do I.

The feedback is tremendous. One mom wondered why her daughter was reading the food labels at the supermarket. Parents tell me that their children are asking for healthier snacks. Of course, I know that it won’t last too long, but at least they are thinking about better nutritional choices. A seed has been planted. They also tell me that their children keep asking to come back to camp.

Every camp builds on the last one. They are truly special events. There are always plenty of surprises. We make sure the camps are really fun, full of activities, and keep the children moving and working off extra calories and excess energy. I’m sure I lost a couple of pounds myself. They are exercising all day long and don’t realize it because it’s all fun and games.

Climbing exercise - parkour style.

WCD Lock In - A Great Time

A few months back, we had a school sleep over, or what is commonly called the WCD (Wing Chun Do) Lock In or Parents Night Out. My list had 28 culprits on it, although I’m sure there are no budding delinquents in the group, we lock them in, just in case of an escape attempt.

This time, it should be interesting. Since Beloved went off to college I have resisted holding any special events at our school. He was such a piped piper, that I felt without him the event lost its “cool” aspect. He led most of the activities and set up the games. So it has been two years since I held the Wing Chun Do Lock In.

I feel differently about it now. The children that used to follow him around and hang on his every word have grown up. They’re the cool kids now. They have become a tight knit group of black belts and leaders and they like each other’s company. The newer students don’t even know who Beloved is, Jim’s the cool guy now.

Another thing I love is to watch is how the group dynamic plays out. Sometimes I get anxious when I have a weird mix of ages or not enough of one age. I want to make sure that everyone feels inclusive. But I am always pleasantly surprised. With children ranging from 5 to 14, it’s interesting to see what groups form, who gravitates to who, who plays best together, where the girls fit in with each other, which of the older children will play gently with the younger ones. I feel like I am a schoolmarm in rural America. All ages of children are under one roof, one class.

To my surprise, all 28 screaming children descended upon the school ready for riotous fun, games and unfettered chaos. All I ask that they stay on the side of caution. Although it may seem outside the realm of reason, I do believe that children should be allowed to go all out in play. Just as they play outside on the playground, I allow them to do so indoors. This is a whole new concept for them. You mean I can run around like a nut, yelling my head off, and no one cares?

My strategy is to let them blow off all that extra energy. They are so excited and completely energized about spending the night with their friends. After the first hour of running around like nuts, they start to settle down. We now can play organized games, watch a movie, or have a bit of quiet time.

Let’s see what happened this time. Girls. This is the first sleep over where there were 14 girls to 14 boys. This tipped the scale. In the past the girl ratio was half or less to that of the boys. Their favorite thing to do was… chase the boys, of course.

One in particular, nine year old Joshua was the girl’s favorite. He had no less than seven girls chasing him about the school. Poor boy. I felt concerned and told him that he just had to say the word and I would gladly put a stop to it. He wasn’t interested, he liked it.

As I watched the action, I saw a glimmer of what the girls saw in him. At one point he runs into the room sliding dramatically to a stop. His hair had fantastic movement to it. It flowed forward, covered his face as he came to a stop then flowed back, almost in slow motion. Sibok (Rocco’s title, meaning chief instructor) and I looked at each other. Did you see that? No wonder the girls are chasing him, the boy looks like a rock star. It doesn’t hurt that he looks like Zac, the lead in High School Musical. He’s doomed.

Jim, the lead volunteer helper is eighteen years old. In our meeting earlier, we discussed recognizing when the frenzy level gets too high. At the peak of play, the noise level settles at a certain decibel or tonality. After years of experience, I have learned that there is a perceptible change in tonality or frequency when the play becomes too raucous. It’s a recognizable early warning system. Warning: a child is going to cry soon or a quarrel is on its way. A quick call to attention immediately drops the energy level to a low hum again.

Jim recognizing that the mayhem was about to get out of hand yelled “Attention!” Good man, he’s learning fast. The children stopped in their tracks and became silent, waiting for his instructions. “Little kids, little kids, you need to slow down and play more quietly. There are small children, watch out for them.” A small voice came from the corner of the room, “I’m a very small child, and I am playing quietly.”