The 8 Social and Emotional Benefits of Parent's Night Out Event

By Elizabeth Ambrose Children's Instructor at Ambrose Academy in Livonia, Michigan

What Martial Art Life Skills can be derived by children when you host a Parent's Night Out event?  

How about Social and Emotional life skills that when presented in the right atmosphere, can elevated self-esteem, gain self-worth, better self-regulation, and more confidence dealing with social interactions.


Whenever we offer a parents night out event, children descend upon our establishment with great anticipation and excitement. For three and a half hours, parents get a chance to go out to a movie, dinner with friends or maybe stay at home for a few child-free hours of relaxation. The cost we charge is minimal for families and students can bring a friend for free.


It was suggested to me that we should advertise our events to non-students. I prefer to keep the event for students, their siblings and close friends. This creates a feeling of community allowing the children to interact with each other in a relaxed and nurturing environment without the added stress of little strangers reeking havoc. Not only do they have a great time getting to know and play with their classmates, they reap the many benefits associated with this unique social event.  The 8 Social and Emotional Benefits for children when you host a Parent's Night Out event are:

Creating Memories

Quiet time - hanging out with new friends

I love putting together an event and have the result be a happening worth remembering. Creating memories is one of my favorite things. The children should experience a positive, unique, and fun social event.

How do you create a memorable evening? Make sure activities let their strengths shine either cognitively or physically. Allow for free play, even near-rambunctious play for a few minutes to let out all that pent up energy. Make sure creativity is sparked by unexpected sources, such as props, face paint, craft corner, even bongo drums. Have structured play led by a mentor or leader. Put aside time for quiet play, reading, gaming, where children can be in close proximity to each other, sitting in groups talking.  And of course, don't forget awesome snacks and the water keg.

So proud of their face paint

Building Goodwill

The goodwill it builds is wonderful. Parents have thanked us profusely for the wonderful evening they were able to have or just for a peaceful time to be quiet and indulge in self-care. The kids get to run around in what I call "organized chaos" allowing them to release pent up energy, especially during the wintry months when they are stuck indoors. Parent and children get to blow off some steam and hopefully come back together much more relaxed and centered. We want to build positive community experience at our school, offering children another safe place to enjoy.

 Let's Flex Those Social Development Muscles

A teacher's goal is to set up activities that touch on the four domains of childhood development. The four domains are cognitive, physical, social and emotional. In our classes, we create opportunities to engage all four domains whenever possible. Although children get plenty of cognitive, physical, and emotional exercises in a good martial art life skills setting, there is less opportunity for real social competence training. Hanging out with peers, with minimal adult intervention, allows them to experience further growth in the social and emotional domains. They get to experience the stresses of interacting with peers in a safe space, learn from those experiences, are supported by staff with suggestions and guidelines leading toward emotional self-regulation (take into account other's reactions and feelings.) Peer acceptance is a critical factor in the well-being of children.


Erik Erikson, a developmental psychologist known for his theory of on psychological development of human beings, believed that eight psycho-social stages of development focus on the resolution of different crises to become a successful and complete person.


During elementary school stage, children between the ages of 6-12 face the task of industry vs. inferiority. Children begin to compare themselves to peers seeking to answer the question, "How do I measure up?' They either develop a sense of pride and accomplishment or they feel inferior and inadequate in their schoolwork, relationships, and activities. Practice makes progress! Those that practice and work (industry) at their social skills help to resolve this conflict positively and with experience lead children to develop a sense of competency at useful skills and tasks.


By giving the children plenty of opportunities to interact with each other in many different ways, such as structured play, free play, creative play, and quiet play in a nurturing and inclusive environment, then social skills can be developed positively well before adolescence.

Building Bonds of Friendship

The children have little time to socialize during class, so an event like this allows them to play, talk, and be together in an environment that promotes positive peer pressure, the bonds of friendship, to strengthen and to form new ones. Our staff makes sure that interactions are as positive and supportive as possible, offering quick mediation and resolution when any issue arises. Kids teaching kids, is one of the best kinds of learning. They quickly learn the lesson of making friends - that being good human beings to one another is a win-win.


In contrast to friendship, peer acceptance and rejection can be one sided. Friendships are a reciprocal relationship, a two way street. Friends talk and listen to one another. Friends offer support and loyalty, and respect and acknowledge each other's perspective. Friendship require more attention and effort. At events like Parent's Night Out, children have an opportunity to forge and strengthen a friend relationship that was started in class but never fully developed. To make a friend and to have them in your life for as long as possible is a true blessing. It means someone likes you best, an awesome feeling.

Mixed Age Group Interactions

Ages 5 to 15

It's like having a one-room schoolhouse! Children get to interact and socialize over a range of age groups giving them a more rounded social experience. Kids teaching kids again! It's good to see when an older child takes interest in helping a younger one and younger children gets attention that they seldom get to experience from an older age group. This interaction between students, gives us insights about a child's personality and behavior and allows us to tailor our program to their strengths and weaknesses in the social and emotional domains.



 Lev Vgotsky, an early child development theorist, developed the Vgotsky's Sociocultural Theory whose major theme of this theoretical framework is that social interaction plays a fundamental role in the development of cognition. I agree that there is much benefit for a child when a more experienced peer is able to provide the learner with "scaffolding" to support the student’s evolving understanding of knowledge domains or development of complex skills. Collaborative learning, discourse, modelling, and scaffolding are strategies that support the intellectual knowledge and skills of learners and facilitate intentional learning."


When an older child plays or mentors a younger one, skills and information are passed down with another perspective that a younger child may understand more readily and with good retention.

Building an Extended Community

The children get to bring a friend. This is good for our school environment. It brings together like-minded people. Children get to introduce friends to a new cool environment, taking pride in their school. Meeting friends means that I may get a new student that is as nice as the one I have now. It's a win-win. It expands our school's positive community, and creates an even more comfortable, nurturing and knowable atmosphere for the children in class.

Hanging Out with Mentors and Role-Models

Nerf Captains

Children get to interact and get to know better their role models and mentors in a new way seeking them out for support and for play. The leadership team makes sure that games and interactions are positive, friendly and safe. They also represent the "more expert peer" that help facilitate learning. For the older children, learning to "care give" younger ones is an exercise in patience and communication. This type of event helps older children gain good leadership and volunteer experience that are good on a resume submitted to National Honor Societies and colleges.

Building Camaraderie Back in the Classroom

Back in the classroom, camaraderie is elevated. Support and encouragement from their peers makes class more enjoyable and rewarding. The children experience newfound comfort and trust in their environment, in the interactions with each other, and that they are safe to be who they are without judgment or ridicule, building true self-esteem. They find acceptance and inclusiveness, a place that supports their personal growth. This strengthens emotional and social fortitude and stability.



Whether an event at Ambrose Academy is a Parent's Night Out, WCD Lock-in, holiday parties, or other group event, the purpose is to be a service to our school's community, to guide personal growth cognitively, physically, socially and emotionally, facilitating the well-being of our students and strengthening the relationships they have with the people they love. We want our students to take ownership, to look upon the school as their school, their club, their place, and a place that is consistent, nurturing and always welcoming.

Girls Coming to the Martial Arts and They are Here to Stay

There was a time when a martial arts school was a male dominated world. I started my training in martial arts in the late 80's. I was one of two women training in a school of approximately thirty men. The other woman - my younger sister who I dragged with me for moral support. I wasn't ready to be the only female in class.

As the new milennium arrived the male to female ratio in adult classes stayed about the same. However, a few more girls started finding their way into the children's classes joining the school with their brothers or on their own. The numbers increased incrementally, the boys still outnumbering the girls four to one.  It was a hopeful sign. Yet years later, I was surprised when a friend decided to have her son's birthday party at our school and none of the girls that had been invited wanted to come to the party. The reason? Because martial arts was "boys' stuff and girls don't do martial arts." 

That was seven years ago. How times have changed.  Today, my classes are now even and at times the girls outnumber the boys. What was driving this change in the kwoon's demographic?  Why are girls now attracted to learning martial arts? What are the outside influences creating this atmosphere of change?

The only thing I can think of is children's movies and children's television have had a lot of female leads in the last decade. Mulan picked up a sword. Lilo was no push over in Lilo and Stitch, Matilda, and neither is Miss Piggy from the Muppets. Other strong female characters, Susan and Lucy in The Chronicles of Narnia,  Katniss in Hunger Games, Tris in Divergent, Merida in Brave and let's not forget the Powder Puff Girls. Others show their adventurous spirit and their fascination in exploring their world or worlds unknown, Rupunzel in Tangled, Ariel in the Little Mermaid. Harriett from Harriett the Spy. And now Anna and Elsa from Frozen. I haven't even touched on Anime or superheroes.

From television iCarly and Hannah Montana were wildly popular as well as Lizzie Mcquire, That's So Raven, and Wizards from Waverly Place all with savvy female leads.  

Then there is Hermione Granger whose hard work, wit, skill, preparation, and level headedness has saved her friends over and over.  She knows who she is and never apologizes or backs down to peer pressure.  She doesn't let anything or anyone stop her. She knows that to be one of the best takes hard work and she works harder than anyone else around her.  It seems she always has what anyone will need in her bag. The level of planning and preparedness is truly awe inspiring and admirable. She is brave and a true hero.

These are all recent examples of heroines in the movies and television.  But there are many more excellent examples from decades past of positive strong female leads. Search for them.

But how about the real life role-models. When I was a young girl, it was watching the women in the Olympics. The stand out for me was the United States Women's Soccer Team winning the World Cup in 1991 and FIFA World Cup in 1999.  They went on to win four gold medals in '96, '04, '08. and 2012. Our heros were Mia Hamm and Michelle Akers, and the rest of the team. Tennis star Serena Williams or race car driver, Danica Patrick challenging and offering a new perspecctive in their fields. So many more examples of women and girls finding their voice and re-imagining their place in society past and present.

So are these influences changing how girls think of themselves?  Is this what has brought girls to the martial arts? And when they walk through our door, does it give them solace and confidence to see me in front of the class, a female instructor. Whatever the reasons are, I am very happy that they are here. I will do my best to help them become the positive and strong female leads that will inspire  future generations of women.  

Brilliant Teens - A Teacher's Love Poem

Brilliance

These four poems were inspired by four brilliant young women. I have known one since she was a toddler, the other three since they were six years old and now all are teenagers. In the past, the kwoon was mostly a male's domain. But in recent years, girls have joined the wonderful world of martial arts. What a joy to train girls. Watching these beautiful girls' friendships blossom as WCD sisters is inspiring. They are so different and most likely never travel in the same circles except in my universe. After Z's blackbelt test we were all celebrating this momentus achievement. As the teens started posing for pictures, I asked if they could envision their future and this picture was taken. Each girl means so much to me and when I looked at this photo, four poems came to mind that evening.

Brilliance - Potential Unknown

Brilliance of hair and soul
Potential kissed her forehead and kissed her forward.
Hurrying toward the future, sitting on your hands
Yearning for more, without recourse
Yearning for a space to call her own home
Searching for a world of belonging and created by her own hand.
To belong by seeking and moving as fast forward as she is allowed
When she gets her chance, she'll fun wild to be free.
To be who she thinks and wants to be.
Stop once or twice and look behind,
To see us wave good-bye and wave "go-on."
Remember that brilliance is not out there, but born within.
Run if you must, but find the time to first, run into you.
You are brilliance - potential unknown.

Brilliance - Presence of Power

Why do you cover your face?
No spotlight, unapolgetically invisible,
Unsuccessful because you create a presence
A Mona Lisa, recognizing the artist's greatness and because she chose him,
It makes her great, thus seen.
You quietly sit, silently quieting your physical and mental being
To be an unknown observer, a social investigator,
Scoping the space for any possible suggestion that eyes may fall toward you.
Staying motionless as a statue, but your presence betrays
The brilliance, seeping out along the edges.
Eyes follow the light to the silent presence, so still, so composed
That all motion must stop to see.
Look at the presence on the canvas, beautiful, still, yet full of life.
The Brilliance is waiting, waiting patiently for safety so power of self can emerge.

Brilliance Complete

A girl who knows who she is
Receiving accolades, that don't stop coming.
A wonder to a girl that so many people are in wonder and awe
Organized, focused, self-realized.
Starting to realize her strengths are powerful.
Willing to explore those skills with fervor to complete something magnificent.
Joy is the task at hand, to plan, to implement to joyous completion.
Brilliance of heart, mind and soul
Does it scare her, the eyes of others on her, praising her, validating her?
The bar of expectations begins to float higher.
Do you continue to awe them or do you already know to awe only yourself?
Remember to rest, that the complete can sometimes wait.
May the joy and love of the ride take you wherever you want to go or whatever you want to be.
You are Brilliance Complete.

Hiding Brilliance - Potential Restrained

Brilliance is pouring out of every pore.
The flow held back restrained, pushing and pulling to be released.
A brilliant beautiful person hiding in her own shadows
Unwilling or unable to show herself as the roaring river that she is.
Experience gave you knowledge of uncertainty, loss, apathy, and abandoned bliss
Don't let these lessons lessen your will to be brilliant.
You are a wonder, a jewel not yet polished.
A potential of the highest order, a power of will and intelligence
A significant creative mind and being, waiting for the moment of self-realization.
Be the power, release its potential, move out of the shadows and
Be the Brilliance Beautiful that you already are.


Here is another picture of a wonderful group of young people. Feel so blessed to know all of them.

Keep Kids Safe Afterschool Program at Ambrose Academy

The award winning, Ambrose Academy of Wing Chun Do, in Livonia is now offering a new after-school program.  An after-school program that gives families the benefits of three great services for the price of one - a structured after-school program focused on health, fitness, safety and personal growth.  Keep Kids Safe After-School Program's three components include a safety enrichment program that offers the acclaimed Stranger Smart Program, conflict avoidance skills, Good Bystander anti-bullying techniques, and more.  A big part of children's safety is developing good health and fitness routines. Also children attend kung fu classes learning the art of Wing Chun Do along with other fun and exciting activities. 

As founder of the Keep Kids Safe Afterschool Program, I want to present a program that offers more than the typical latchkey environment. Here is a unique opportunity to create another great learning experience for  children in a structured, more productive way during after-school hours, but still maintain the fun and excitement. This program helps families in other aspects of their lives by promoting solid child safety skills, offering an extracurricular activity such as Wing Chun Do kung fu classes, and promoting fitness, and health. We believe by combining multiple quality activities that families will find more time and experience less stress during the day.

It’s not too late to enroll in the program.  Ambrose Academy keeps attendance to the program under fifteen to ensure that each child receives a quality experience and individual attention.   

Program details:
Cost 62 a week, which includes all of our safety classes and handouts, martial art classes, testing fees, t-shirt, belts, foam weapons, and craft supplies depending on the theme of the week. Children bring snack(s). 10% sibling discount. $40 non-refundable registration fee per child.

Time for homework and reading for those that have a 3 or 3:15 dismissal

Transportation available if your school falls within our pick-up zone.

Summer Day Camps Announced for Summer 2014

Our popular Summer Day Camps at Ambrose Academy, an award winning school, are back for summer 2014.  Our theme of course is Fitness/Sport/Martial Arts. Sign ups are starting today. Make a deposit to reserve your spot.

The dates for each camp is:        July 7-11  and  August 4-8

Each day is filled with activities to keep your child moving all day long.  Morning exercises, daily martial arts class, sports games, team play, creative free play and so much more.  Children expend tons of energy during focus play.  Lessons on nutrition, making fitness a life long pursuit, and of course martial arts training.  Arts and crafts too!  What parents have to say about our camps.

Sign up for the whole week or ask about our half day programs.  Drop off mornings at 8am and pickup at 3:30pm.  Call us for more information at 734-422-4420. Join us on facebook to keep informed.

Ambrose Academy's Parents Night Out Balloon Fest

Ambrose Academy loves to offer to its young students an atmosphere of creativity and free play fun.  After twenty-five years in this business, we've learned what needs to be in place to make an event special.  For kids, take your cue from Disney or other kid friendly venues.  Color, lots of bright colors.  I wanted to create a theme for the next Parents Night Out event.  So what better way to create instant fun than to have a balloon themed party for the kids.

Balloons everywhere!  No direction needed, just let the kids go.

Balloon Holding Contest

Relay Races

Trying to get all the balloons in the air.

Crafty Kung Fu Girls

The school has an unprecedented number of girl members.  It is so nice to see that girls want to participate in the martial arts and no longer think it as a "boys only" domain.  This past year the number of girls in my school doubled surpassing the boy student body, making it a 2 to 1 ratio for a while.  The class is now about 50/50.

I also want our school to be more than just a martial art school. I envision the school as a place akin to a community center that offers special events, enrichment classes, and happenings that will excite and build a bond between the students and the school.  I want it to become their club, another nurturing and safe place to be,  a highly positive environment, where creativity is always encouraged, and a freedom to be themselves a must.

I decided to offer a class and invited the girls to my first craft party. Fourteen girls showed up and it was a blast. It was a whirlwind of activity. As I was helping Samantha with her project, my attention was suddenly drawn to the background of voices, the din of activities, the girls engrossed in their projects happily creating, the excitement and positive energy that was all around me.

I felt so fulfilled and happy.  It was a happening!

I looked up to see the girls in groups all over the floor, at the painting table, at the ribbon table, making their choices and complementing each other.  I saw my helpers, Amy, Evelyn, Tessa, Alyssa, and the other moms that were drawn to stay helping the girls with their designs.  Grandma G. sitting on the floor using a hair dryer to help dry the paint more quickly with three girls around her watching. Mrs. M with a constant tear of joy in her eyes, bless her. Everyone happily working, being creative, using their hands, creating their own style and thoroughly enjoying the party.

It's still all kung fu to me.  It's a way of expressing oneself - honestly. Each girl showed off her personality and individuality in their pieces. I was amazed that six year old Samantha was so positive in her choices, never asking me for an opinion on what to do.  She picked out everything and proceeded to tell me how and where to place her design.

Amy and I helping the girls with the sewing machines.

Then of course we just had to have a runway show.  It capped off the event beautifully.   I created a wonderful memory for myself, one that I know will stay with me for a long time and I hope will stay with everyone who was there.

By the way, ignore the woman with the two left feet that falls down at the end of the video.





Now what to do with the boys.....

Lil' Dragons - They Grow Up So Fast

Cycles

Every once in a while my Lil’ Dragons class is empty for at least a short time.  My class consists of four and five year olds, and children I consider young fives or young sixes.  Lil Dragon’s membership is limited to five to seven children to keep the student/teacher ratio low.  Their attention span isn’t what it should be and every once in a while, one is stuck in what I call “imagination land,” meaning they’re just visiting another world in their head. 

It’s my job to try to get them focused, thinking, and observant to what is around them.  I’ve discovered the best way to get my task done is to play with them. I guide the games that not only entertain, but also challenge them physically and mentally keeping them present and in the moment, in a word, focused. When they are ready or when they reach a milestone like another birthday, they leave my class and join the Children’s class, ages 6-14.

Right now, I’m enjoying my second cup of coffee, and checking on how they are doing in the new class.  Of course they are doing great. Soon a new Lil’ Dragons class will form and I can’t wait to meet them.  But for now, it’s nice to sit back, take a rest, and watch if the lessons I have taught them have taken hold.

Children Need to Go All Out - Especially If They're Superheros

It was an intense hour and a half.  The hobgoblins, princesses, Jedi, and super heroes descend on the place ready for some fun.  Our martial arts school becomes an indoor playground.  The only thing missing is the jungle gym.  The matted jitsu room becomes the ball room.  The main floor becomes a hockey field.

The children are allowed to invite friends to this event, so the rooms were filled with children going amuck.  I heard a visiting parent ask, "Is it always this chaotic?"

Why, yes.  Yes it is.  Controlled Chaos.

Or at least during parties, we let it be chaotic for the first twenty to thirty minutes.  I'm a big believer that children need to expend lots of energy. They need to do it with free play.  They don't often get that opportunity especially in an indoor setting. But when the time is right, the mood is right, and the place in which it happens is a controlled environment geared toward safety, then I say, let them loose.

And guess what.  The energy that has been pent up all day or all week is finally released in the first thirty minutes of frenzy and then they naturally calm down.  Plus it sort of cool when in the middle of it all, I shout, "ATTENTION!" and every child in the room stops dead in their tracks and comes to attention. You can hear a pin drop.  Impressive.

I sometimes have to remind the children and show the parents that the situation is actually under control.  It just doesn't look like it at first glance.

I fixed up one of our changing rooms as "the haunted spot."  This year I didn't have time to set up my usual haunted house in the corner of the school, so sibok Rocco suggested I use one of the changing rooms.  Perfect - set up in less than an hour.

The children played games, got prizes, and showed off their costumes during the costume contest.  Food was flowing a plenty and the children ate with the same degree of fervor.

Super Girl, Goth Girl, Princess Lollipop

Costume Winner - Kid Captured by Alien

Cheerleader, Arial, & Wolverine

I had a great time.  The parents had a good time watching their children play.  And I know the kids had a great time.  All in an hour and a half.

Back to School Blues

They fall for it everyday.  "We have some awesome, exciting news!"

Eyes fill with excitement and anticipation waiting to get the awesome news. "What? What?"

"There's only 14 more days before school starts!"

The groans, grimaces, and hunching over in abject defeat.

Children really don't appreciate their martial arts instructor counting down the days at every class that "regular" school will soon start.

I look at it as a public service.  Yeah, that's the ticket.

I'm giving them the news everyday so that they get used to the idea and maybe not groan, grimace, and hunch over in defeat when the time comes, at least not so much.

Wing Chun Means Beautiful Springtime

With the warm weather here, class attendance and new student enrollment is up.  Yeah us!

It's as though folks have awaken from their hibernation here in Michigan.  We have felt a touch of spring this last week with temperatures reaching the 60's.  And it feels glorious.  We understand that it's temporary. It's suppose to be in the 30's on Monday.

So get out there and do, feel the sun on your face, find an activity, take a long walk, start a workout, get out of the house.  As northerners, most of us are low on Vitamin D.  At least a few minutes outdoors will lift the spirits, put a spring in our gait, and maybe help us out nutritionally. We need all the help we can get.

Look for a workout that teaches you something as well.  Good for the mind and body.  Then, please feel free to grace our door.  It's a perfect activity to get you out of those winter doldrums.

A New Super Hero at the Party

Every year we schedule a sleep-over or lock-in around the Valentine's Day holiday, giving parents a night out or a quiet night in without the kids.  It was a blast.

The following is a conversation I overheard between three six year olds and the head instructor, Sibok Rocco Ambrose.

"What's with all the flying around?"

"We're super heros.  I'm Superman and she is Wonder Woman."

"Cool.  And what super hero are you, John?'

"I'm Baby Man."

"Baby Man?"

"Yup, Baby Man.  He farts when you least expect it."  

John just made Sibok do a double take.

Class Diary - Trying Becomes Expected Success

Had a good class yesterday.  The class consisted mostly of six to eight year olds.  Even though it was a snow day and the kids were off school, nine of them manage to get to class.  The class was full of positive energy, focused, and synergetic.

I feel that my teaching method is getting better.  As any instructor will tell you, teaching a multi-layered class can be a challenge.  I look at a group by rank, level of experience, and the drills and techniques that need to take place to advance them.

But you also have to look at each individual's personality and the individual needs for each student.  Trying to develop the "Yes, I can" attitude for the kids that are afraid to make a mistake.  Trying to correct, without the word "no." Trying to encourage the timid, without making it a high pressure situation.  To develop self-control in the rambunctious, without squelching their spirit.  To foster worth, self-esteem, and confidence, so that "trying" becomes "expected success."

I think these lessons are learned more quickly when the life lessons are attached to a physical activity.  Success is immediate.  The corrections are made immediately.  The praise, correct, praise method is one that works in this context.

I bow to the teachers that are dedicated to teaching children to read, to write, to do math, to think, to conceptualize. These abstract concepts are at a much higher level in the children's mental development.

It is far easier to teach children to kick, block, strike, jump, spin, and roll, because kids love doing it. And because they love doing those things, it allows me to introduce abstract concepts of self-esteem, focus, discipline, and confidence.

I think I'm also getting better at making abstract ideas more concrete so the lessons I'm trying to teach to kids will be easier to understand. I want these children to feel confident in their abilities, to understand that everything is within their grasp.

Also I'm getting better at reading the kids.  I asked the kids to circle up for our next drill, when one of them spontaneously slid across the floor like a rock star.  I thought, pretty cool.  When a second child followed suit and slid a whole two feet farther, I thought, awesome.  I wasn't losing control of the class, I was witness to spontaneous creativity. You could tell that the rest of them wanted to try it too.  So we went for it, all of them sliding around the school. Two girls and two boys simultaneously slid toward one another as though it was perfectly choreographed. Even the last two timid boys wanted to try the slide, and with the encouragement of all the other children they let go of the fear of making a mistake or looking foolish and learned to slide like a rock star.

That type of spontaneity is important in creating an exciting class.

Pre-Emptive Strike - Women's Self Defense

This weekend we will hold another women's self defense seminar at the school.  As with all safety and health issues, prevention is the key.  Recognizing potentially dangerous situations and removing yourself from them is the first lesson in self defense.

Women practice all kinds of preventative measures to ensure the health and safety of their families.  We teach about fire safety, stranger safety, electrical safety, street safety and water safety by teaching our children to swim.  Parents warn their children against smoking, drugs, and alcohol.  Good meals, monitoring water intake, visiting dentist and doctor regularly, are all preventive measures to ensure good health and safety.

These measures are a type of psychological insurance so that as parents we can rest a little easier.  We take insurance out on our life, health, homes and cars.  We're willing to pay huge sums for these insurances and at the same time, hope we will never have to use them. We are willing to pay because they offer us some peace of mind.

But for women I think there is one more preventive measure that should be undertaken.  Teaching ourselves and our daughters what it means to defend ourselves.  I feel personally that it is a responsibility that needs to be addressed.

When confronted with a potentially dangerous situation, you have options.  Do you know what those options are?  Do you have any idea what course of action is recommended by experts or law enforcement?

Should I get into the car?  Should I run?  What if he is holding a weapon?  What if my child is with me?  Should I be passive?  Should I fight?  What if it's my date?  How will my family cope?  What should I do?

You need to understand what is happening quickly, to weigh your options, and decide according to the situation, what is your best course of action.     And... if you choose to fight?    Then you need to know some solid incapacitating techniques that will give you the seconds you need to get away and get help.

With that in mind, the Women's Self Defense Program at Ambrose Academy is designed to be more interactive.  We have some wonderful people willing to volunteer their time and their bodies to this event.  Women get to test out what they have learned on the "suits."  This way they get a more realistic understanding what kind of energy it takes to incapacitate an assailant.

As with all health and safety issues, what you have learned must be revisited and refreshed, that's why schools revisit regularly fire safety and have fire drills. They invite local law enforcement to talk about drug and crime prevention programs.  Self-defense skills are something you must revisit to ingrain the information you have learned.  This practice shortens the decision making process at a time when seconds really count.

We need to show our families that we care about our safety, that we are worth defending, and that our ultimate goal is to come home safely to our families each and every night.

Because you are your family's first line of defense.  

Who is looking out for you?

Turning 51 and Still Chasing 4-year olds

I used to have a regular job. You know the kind, the one that when you wake up, you moan audibly, having a tantrum distressed at even the thought. I think, "Maybe I should take a sanity day, today. But, no, I've taken too many of those of late."  The job did give me the varicose veins, the daily knee and leg pain, and the carpal tunnel syndrome, and enough stress that I would dream about all the things that needed to be done or could go wrong at the bank. I couldn't even get away from it when I was sleeping. My health was beginning to be affected. 

When my son turned twelve, I re-evaluated what I wanted out of life.  I realized that I had to make a change.  My husband made an offer I couldn't refuse. Here was an opportunity to make a difference in the lives of children  

Well, my carpal tunnel is gone, my knee pain and leg pain is gone, but those gorgeous varicose veins will be mine forever.

When teaching 4-year-olds, you have to get low to be at their eye level. I've been kneeling and squatting for over five years now and my knees have gotten very strong. My wrists no longer ache because I have to steady them when a new technique is introduced or I pick them up and toss ‘em around or hold them when they climb ropes.

I still huff and puff sometimes trying to match their never-ending energy but thanks to these little darlings; stress has turned into smiles and giggles.

The Seed of Positive Thinking

When someone asks you to try something you have never done before, it's natural to feel hesitation. For a four or five year old its downright intimating.  Some kids won't try at all because they're afraid of making a mistake or looking foolish.  How does one become a perfectionist at the age of five, anyways?

Michael continued to say class after class, "I can't do it.  I don't know how. I can't do that very good."

"Of course you don't know how.  There is always the first time for everyone.  So what if we can't do it the first time, we are just learning how to do it.  We're teaching our body and brains how to do it.  So... Go, Mike."

Michael does it perfectly, or his efforts show great promise. Praise and high fives all around.

"Well, Mike.  I guess I can't believe you anymore."

Michael's eyes get big. "Why?"

"Because every time you tell me you can't do it, you go and do it perfectly the first or second time. So I guess I can't believe you when you tell me you can't.  As a matter of fact, the ONLY person that ever says that you can't do something is, let me see.....

Not me. I always know you can do it.  Not Destiny (his six year old sister and classmate today) because she's always encouraging and offers suggestions on how to do it better, so she obviously believes you can do it too.  Everyone else believes you can do it. Yes, the only person that says you can't do it is Michael.  Your body can do it, because your body is doing it correctly all the time, but your brain is telling it it can't. I wonder why that is? Why does Mike's brain keep telling Mike he can't do stuff?"

Michael makes a surprising discovery.  He points his finger in the air and earnestly says, "My brain is trying to fool me!"

Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall

If you want to get anything done when teaching children, never, ever teach them in front of a wall of full length mirrors. It neutralizes all thinking processes and the brain shifts into a dormant stage where neurons screech to a halt and take a siesta.

The admiration for their own image is apparent by the twinkle in their eyes.  Soon the movement begins. With the boys it starts with lips and tongues.  Soon they're contorting their faces pausing between each face vogue style. The feet start to move and as they watch  in fascination, they jump high into the air, dance, shuffle, perform kung fu moves, and eventually roll about the floor.

Another issue with mirrors - The children can see each other.  They line up in a straight line side by side.  Without the mirrors, they face the teacher and can't see down the line.  But with the mirrors, they can see everyone in line.   Unfortunately for me, they fall like dominoes.  Count to three and there are three to four boys dancing, performing kung fu moves and rolling about the floor.

The girls tilt their head to and fro, usually a quiet stare of admiration or evaluation.   I'm not sure which.  Soon the movement begins.  First the arms swing back and forth ever so slightly and soon the body does too.  The feet move to side to side and a dance breaks out, or some girls start posing, first one angle, then the other.

I bring their attention back over and over.  As we do our drills in front of the mirror, these children are seriously checking themselves out.  They're not paying any attention to technique or the corrections I'm trying to make. Each  mesmerized, hearing nothing, and watching with fascination the child in the mirror.

I had to break up this little love affair.   Since breaking the mirrors is not an option, we moved our Lil' Dragon's class to the next room, you know, the one without the mirrors.

Bowling for Kids

A game, I've learned is a great way to convey lessons.  It may not look so from the outside looking in, but playing a good, raucous, and challenging game will teach more than words ever could.

Of all the games I play, the Lil' Dragons love a game called "Bowling for Kids." Yes it is exactly like it sounds. I am the bowler and they are my pins.  Lucky me.

For some reason beyond me, this is their favorite game.  They will ask to play it as soon as they come through the door.  Whenever I request a suggestion for a game, the Lil' Dragons shout out in chorus, "Bowling for Kids!" It such a simple premise for a game and requires no special skills.  Maybe that's why they love it.

If mowing down little children with a ball sounds like a wish come true, well... I can't help it if they love it too.

What they learn: Controlling the panic response, keeping their eye on the ball, moving in a crowd without knocking anyone over, bravery, overcoming obstacles.

What they love: Running around screaming, dodging, jumping the ball, falling dramatically, cheering, and winning.

Winner - Nickelodeon Parents' Picks Award

For Martial Arts Class
in Detroit

Thank you!

This is an announcement that we are very proud to make. Our school, Ambrose Academy is the winner of the Nickelodeon's Parents' Picks Award for 2009 in the martial arts category. We want to thank all of you that voted for us. Some of you were faithfully voting every day. You know who you are! Special thanks. You made it happen and we appreciate all the support you have given us.

If you would like to see that little blue ribbon next to our name, head over to Nickelodeon's Parents Connection, an online resource for parenting advice and community, which handled the voting.

Parents' Picks businesses were nominated based on recommendations from Nickelodeon's local city editors that live and work in the cities they cover, in conjunction with the sites' user feedback. Only five martial arts schools were nominated for the Detroit Metropolitan area for 2009.

You may ask what do we win? A nice certificate and bragging rights for the year. Considering this was the first year of the awards, our selection to be on the list came from Nickelodeon itself making this award more significant and a great honor.

After this year, other prospective nominees can request to be included for next year's vote, so I'm sure that the field will be much larger.

Our thanks and gratitude to the best students around.

I'm exhausted - Fun & Games at Summer Day Camp

Okay I’m exhausted!

Every year I hold a Fitness Summer Day Camp for just one week at our Livonia school - usually open to our students only. Every once in a while a friend or family member joins the camp, so it isn’t really closed to the public. So if you’re interested my recommendation is to check the camp out. Since the camp is geared for fitness, sports, nutrition, and martial arts our day is full with physical activities and lessons about life long exercise and nutrition. Beyond the martial art classes, the nutrition sessions at lunch, there are plenty of organized and free playtimes.

By the end of the week we are all exhausted so our usual Friday afternoon swim is a blessed relief. I’m talking about me. The kids are still moving around and exercising. I get to sit pool side with my fan and keep a constant head count while the kids and volunteers play in the water for a couple of hours.

The children always look forward to the camp. I know that our camps are successful because I’ve heard the children beg their parents to be there. Children that sign up for only three days end up coming the full five, only because they are having a blast. They get to socialize with their fellow classmates, something they don’t get to do normally because they are always training in class. So these get-togethers help strengthen friendships and forge new ones. This camp a new six-year-old non-member joined in the fun. As soon as all the six year olds met, they started comparing notes on how many teeth were lost so far, what Transformer they wanted to be, and what video games were their favorites. Ah, instant connection.

Again I get to watch the dynamic of the group develop since the ages of the campers range from five to fourteen. I cap the number of attendees to twenty. They may start out by staying in their age group or gender group, but by the end of the week, new friends, new role models to follow, and new playmates are found over and over. It becomes one big friend group. It’s pretty cool to watch.

The weather was incredible all week. When the weather cooperates it gives me a great deal of flexibility in planning the outdoor activities. We all have a blast no matter what the weather because I have a few tricks up my sleeve just in case. Parents tell me that their children sleep like rocks during the week and so do I.

The feedback is tremendous. One mom wondered why her daughter was reading the food labels at the supermarket. Parents tell me that their children are asking for healthier snacks. Of course, I know that it won’t last too long, but at least they are thinking about better nutritional choices. A seed has been planted. They also tell me that their children keep asking to come back to camp.

Every camp builds on the last one. They are truly special events. There are always plenty of surprises. We make sure the camps are really fun, full of activities, and keep the children moving and working off extra calories and excess energy. I’m sure I lost a couple of pounds myself. They are exercising all day long and don’t realize it because it’s all fun and games.

Climbing exercise - parkour style.