A New Super Hero at the Party

Every year we schedule a sleep-over or lock-in around the Valentine's Day holiday, giving parents a night out or a quiet night in without the kids.  It was a blast.

The following is a conversation I overheard between three six year olds and the head instructor, Sibok Rocco Ambrose.

"What's with all the flying around?"

"We're super heros.  I'm Superman and she is Wonder Woman."

"Cool.  And what super hero are you, John?'

"I'm Baby Man."

"Baby Man?"

"Yup, Baby Man.  He farts when you least expect it."  

John just made Sibok do a double take.

Class Diary - Trying Becomes Expected Success

Had a good class yesterday.  The class consisted mostly of six to eight year olds.  Even though it was a snow day and the kids were off school, nine of them manage to get to class.  The class was full of positive energy, focused, and synergetic.

I feel that my teaching method is getting better.  As any instructor will tell you, teaching a multi-layered class can be a challenge.  I look at a group by rank, level of experience, and the drills and techniques that need to take place to advance them.

But you also have to look at each individual's personality and the individual needs for each student.  Trying to develop the "Yes, I can" attitude for the kids that are afraid to make a mistake.  Trying to correct, without the word "no." Trying to encourage the timid, without making it a high pressure situation.  To develop self-control in the rambunctious, without squelching their spirit.  To foster worth, self-esteem, and confidence, so that "trying" becomes "expected success."

I think these lessons are learned more quickly when the life lessons are attached to a physical activity.  Success is immediate.  The corrections are made immediately.  The praise, correct, praise method is one that works in this context.

I bow to the teachers that are dedicated to teaching children to read, to write, to do math, to think, to conceptualize. These abstract concepts are at a much higher level in the children's mental development.

It is far easier to teach children to kick, block, strike, jump, spin, and roll, because kids love doing it. And because they love doing those things, it allows me to introduce abstract concepts of self-esteem, focus, discipline, and confidence.

I think I'm also getting better at making abstract ideas more concrete so the lessons I'm trying to teach to kids will be easier to understand. I want these children to feel confident in their abilities, to understand that everything is within their grasp.

Also I'm getting better at reading the kids.  I asked the kids to circle up for our next drill, when one of them spontaneously slid across the floor like a rock star.  I thought, pretty cool.  When a second child followed suit and slid a whole two feet farther, I thought, awesome.  I wasn't losing control of the class, I was witness to spontaneous creativity. You could tell that the rest of them wanted to try it too.  So we went for it, all of them sliding around the school. Two girls and two boys simultaneously slid toward one another as though it was perfectly choreographed. Even the last two timid boys wanted to try the slide, and with the encouragement of all the other children they let go of the fear of making a mistake or looking foolish and learned to slide like a rock star.

That type of spontaneity is important in creating an exciting class.

Pre-Emptive Strike - Women's Self Defense

This weekend we will hold another women's self defense seminar at the school.  As with all safety and health issues, prevention is the key.  Recognizing potentially dangerous situations and removing yourself from them is the first lesson in self defense.

Women practice all kinds of preventative measures to ensure the health and safety of their families.  We teach about fire safety, stranger safety, electrical safety, street safety and water safety by teaching our children to swim.  Parents warn their children against smoking, drugs, and alcohol.  Good meals, monitoring water intake, visiting dentist and doctor regularly, are all preventive measures to ensure good health and safety.

These measures are a type of psychological insurance so that as parents we can rest a little easier.  We take insurance out on our life, health, homes and cars.  We're willing to pay huge sums for these insurances and at the same time, hope we will never have to use them. We are willing to pay because they offer us some peace of mind.

But for women I think there is one more preventive measure that should be undertaken.  Teaching ourselves and our daughters what it means to defend ourselves.  I feel personally that it is a responsibility that needs to be addressed.

When confronted with a potentially dangerous situation, you have options.  Do you know what those options are?  Do you have any idea what course of action is recommended by experts or law enforcement?

Should I get into the car?  Should I run?  What if he is holding a weapon?  What if my child is with me?  Should I be passive?  Should I fight?  What if it's my date?  How will my family cope?  What should I do?

You need to understand what is happening quickly, to weigh your options, and decide according to the situation, what is your best course of action.     And... if you choose to fight?    Then you need to know some solid incapacitating techniques that will give you the seconds you need to get away and get help.

With that in mind, the Women's Self Defense Program at Ambrose Academy is designed to be more interactive.  We have some wonderful people willing to volunteer their time and their bodies to this event.  Women get to test out what they have learned on the "suits."  This way they get a more realistic understanding what kind of energy it takes to incapacitate an assailant.

As with all health and safety issues, what you have learned must be revisited and refreshed, that's why schools revisit regularly fire safety and have fire drills. They invite local law enforcement to talk about drug and crime prevention programs.  Self-defense skills are something you must revisit to ingrain the information you have learned.  This practice shortens the decision making process at a time when seconds really count.

We need to show our families that we care about our safety, that we are worth defending, and that our ultimate goal is to come home safely to our families each and every night.

Because you are your family's first line of defense.  

Who is looking out for you?

Turning 51 and Still Chasing 4-year olds

I used to have a regular job. You know the kind, the one that when you wake up, you moan audibly, having a tantrum distressed at even the thought. I think, "Maybe I should take a sanity day, today. But, no, I've taken too many of those of late."  The job did give me the varicose veins, the daily knee and leg pain, and the carpal tunnel syndrome, and enough stress that I would dream about all the things that needed to be done or could go wrong at the bank. I couldn't even get away from it when I was sleeping. My health was beginning to be affected. 

When my son turned twelve, I re-evaluated what I wanted out of life.  I realized that I had to make a change.  My husband made an offer I couldn't refuse. Here was an opportunity to make a difference in the lives of children  

Well, my carpal tunnel is gone, my knee pain and leg pain is gone, but those gorgeous varicose veins will be mine forever.

When teaching 4-year-olds, you have to get low to be at their eye level. I've been kneeling and squatting for over five years now and my knees have gotten very strong. My wrists no longer ache because I have to steady them when a new technique is introduced or I pick them up and toss ‘em around or hold them when they climb ropes.

I still huff and puff sometimes trying to match their never-ending energy but thanks to these little darlings; stress has turned into smiles and giggles.

The Seed of Positive Thinking

When someone asks you to try something you have never done before, it's natural to feel hesitation. For a four or five year old its downright intimating.  Some kids won't try at all because they're afraid of making a mistake or looking foolish.  How does one become a perfectionist at the age of five, anyways?

Michael continued to say class after class, "I can't do it.  I don't know how. I can't do that very good."

"Of course you don't know how.  There is always the first time for everyone.  So what if we can't do it the first time, we are just learning how to do it.  We're teaching our body and brains how to do it.  So... Go, Mike."

Michael does it perfectly, or his efforts show great promise. Praise and high fives all around.

"Well, Mike.  I guess I can't believe you anymore."

Michael's eyes get big. "Why?"

"Because every time you tell me you can't do it, you go and do it perfectly the first or second time. So I guess I can't believe you when you tell me you can't.  As a matter of fact, the ONLY person that ever says that you can't do something is, let me see.....

Not me. I always know you can do it.  Not Destiny (his six year old sister and classmate today) because she's always encouraging and offers suggestions on how to do it better, so she obviously believes you can do it too.  Everyone else believes you can do it. Yes, the only person that says you can't do it is Michael.  Your body can do it, because your body is doing it correctly all the time, but your brain is telling it it can't. I wonder why that is? Why does Mike's brain keep telling Mike he can't do stuff?"

Michael makes a surprising discovery.  He points his finger in the air and earnestly says, "My brain is trying to fool me!"

Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall

If you want to get anything done when teaching children, never, ever teach them in front of a wall of full length mirrors. It neutralizes all thinking processes and the brain shifts into a dormant stage where neurons screech to a halt and take a siesta.

The admiration for their own image is apparent by the twinkle in their eyes.  Soon the movement begins. With the boys it starts with lips and tongues.  Soon they're contorting their faces pausing between each face vogue style. The feet start to move and as they watch  in fascination, they jump high into the air, dance, shuffle, perform kung fu moves, and eventually roll about the floor.

Another issue with mirrors - The children can see each other.  They line up in a straight line side by side.  Without the mirrors, they face the teacher and can't see down the line.  But with the mirrors, they can see everyone in line.   Unfortunately for me, they fall like dominoes.  Count to three and there are three to four boys dancing, performing kung fu moves and rolling about the floor.

The girls tilt their head to and fro, usually a quiet stare of admiration or evaluation.   I'm not sure which.  Soon the movement begins.  First the arms swing back and forth ever so slightly and soon the body does too.  The feet move to side to side and a dance breaks out, or some girls start posing, first one angle, then the other.

I bring their attention back over and over.  As we do our drills in front of the mirror, these children are seriously checking themselves out.  They're not paying any attention to technique or the corrections I'm trying to make. Each  mesmerized, hearing nothing, and watching with fascination the child in the mirror.

I had to break up this little love affair.   Since breaking the mirrors is not an option, we moved our Lil' Dragon's class to the next room, you know, the one without the mirrors.

Bowling for Kids

A game, I've learned is a great way to convey lessons.  It may not look so from the outside looking in, but playing a good, raucous, and challenging game will teach more than words ever could.

Of all the games I play, the Lil' Dragons love a game called "Bowling for Kids." Yes it is exactly like it sounds. I am the bowler and they are my pins.  Lucky me.

For some reason beyond me, this is their favorite game.  They will ask to play it as soon as they come through the door.  Whenever I request a suggestion for a game, the Lil' Dragons shout out in chorus, "Bowling for Kids!" It such a simple premise for a game and requires no special skills.  Maybe that's why they love it.

If mowing down little children with a ball sounds like a wish come true, well... I can't help it if they love it too.

What they learn: Controlling the panic response, keeping their eye on the ball, moving in a crowd without knocking anyone over, bravery, overcoming obstacles.

What they love: Running around screaming, dodging, jumping the ball, falling dramatically, cheering, and winning.